As I mentioned in my first post on this blog I was encouraged to start writing as I reviewed some of my old writings from even as far back as 10 years ago. It blew me away how I could write about something back then and have it speak to me today.
I wrote this spiel about what is beneath the surface in our lives. So often we go about our daily lives without even recognising who we really are. We can get so caught up in the doing that we can easily forget about the being. We don’t always know who we are and we allow things like shame to keep us hidden. I have been learning recently how important it is to be vulnerable with trustworthy people. How important it is to let some of the stuff out that has been hidden for so long. It can be one of the scariest things we can do in our lives, let people see us, let people see what we consider our junk. I have to admit that I have been so scared even though I have been able to share with amazing people who truly are trustworthy treasures, I have been scared that once people see the reality of who I am that people would walk away. That’s been historically true in my past and so my expectation has remained the same.
True courage and vulnerability is to recognise that and go for it anyway. I have had people recently tell me I am brave and I give them the look as if to say “Yeah right” but really they are right. I am jumping in with both feet and saying hey this is where I am at, I may not be perfect right now, but this is who I am and I am discovering more and more who I am. It’s scary, but it’s the right journey to walk on.
So anyway the writing I wrote 10 years ago on November 6, 2003 is below…..
What’s Beneath the Surface
Today I’ve been preparing the bathroom to paint, I’ve been thinking about doing it for ages, but I finally got around to doing so.
What do we find when we start washing down walls and sanding them back. Old paint that has been covered over, dirt, grime, gritty bits.
That is just like what our life can be like. We reach a point where we begin having to deal with things in our lives. How do we normally live, we live in a place where we hide our imperfections or what we perceive as imperfections from everyone as much as we can by wearing a mask.
What is with the human heart, soul and mind that we tend to lean to doing that? It is shame. What is shame? Shame is deep-rooted illogical ill-feelings about one-self. Shame isn’t in your best interest!
Shame is when you feel wrong feelings about yourself not about your “stuff”.
It’s time to begin the journey of embracing yourself with LOVE!!