It was a fairly normal Sunday night, a beautiful walk along the beach and a Thai meal with a friend who inspires and encourages me to be all I can be. We then went back to her place so she could show me her new digs and we had a cuppa. It was getting late and I knew I had to be up early in the morning for work so we said our goodbyes and I headed home.
The drive home typically takes 20 – 25 minutes and is on a fairly main road, normally I would be singing or listening to podcasts, Ted Talks or educational training sessions as I drove however the drive home this evening was not the normal experience I would have.
5 minutes away from my friends house my entire body began to shudder and my bowel began to do what I can only call convulse. In that moment I was rapidly running through dozens of thoughts in my head. Is it just wind? It felt that way…. Do I turn around and go back to my friends place just in case it isn’t?
Can I make it to the public toilet that’s 10 minutes ahead of me…
Too late… that moment all control was lost and my body let fly with what I can only call a severe Shart Attack, wind but then something more!! I was stunned.
Dictionary Definition of a Shart “An unintended defecation that occurs when one is expecting to fart”
I pulled over to the side of the road, immediately thinking that there was nothing I could do, it was too late to do anything. I was no longer going to turn around to my friends place, imagine the explanation, hey I’m back, I shit my pants, can I use your toilet and shower!!
Although I knew she would be the most compassionate person ever, I figured there was no point! I also knew there was no bloody way I’d be getting out of the car to go into the nearest McDonalds Restaurant to use their toilet….
Use your imagination for a second, you go to hop out of the car with poop in your pants and waddle to the entry door, you then waddle down the back of the store to the toilets, all the while the trail of the smell of shit is following your every move. God no! I also cannot just enter a McDonalds Restaurant to only use the toilet, so I would also need to waddle to the front counter with poopy underwear to purchase something.
With all that in mind I hopped out of the drivers seat, thankful that it wasn’t that terrible and pulled the towel from the back seat. I always carry towels as going to the beach is my favourite thing to do. THANK GOD for the towel!! I folded the towel onto the front seat and hopped back in, hoping that if there was any seepage it would just land in the towel and I began the drive home again.
As I drove I hoped that I wouldn’t get pulled over by the police for any reason, let alone get asked to get out of the car. Imagine explaining this!!! Sorry officer, I would prefer not to exit my vehicle at this stage as I ‘whispering’ shit my pants. What kind of reaction would that bring?!
So I drove with the car on cruise control as I was very tempted to plant my foot to make it home quicker, however I didn’t want to risk the chance of being pulled over for any reason!
Yet…
It wasn’t the end of the saga… it appeared that something I had eaten in the meal (I still wonder if there was dairy in the meal) had decided to cause me to have one of the severest reactions to food I have ever had. On and on the situation went. Yes I kept shitting my pants. It brings new meaning to “shitting yourself”!!!!
Wave upon wave of tsunami devastation occurred and I was trying to remain calm during the entire situation and gain control over my bowel but my body was having none of that mind over matter shit. (yes shit haha)..
The relief I felt when I arrived home was nothing I’d ever experienced before, the moment I pulled into the driveway it was like I was entirely safe. I shut the roller door behind me and then had to decide how I was going to get into the house to the shower as well as ensure that the car didn’t stink! (Side note: thankfully the towel caught all the damage!) however I still disinfected everything anyway!) The car was going to the mechanics the next morning for new tyres, so I wasn’t having any leftover stench from the whole saga remaining!
Motto of the Story: Sometimes you will shit yourself,
but you will survive and go on to live another day.
As I have pondered this story since it happened I have begun to see so many meanings and opportunities for my own growth as I look at what happens to me in life.
Sometimes SHIT really does happen. SHIT that we have absolutely no fucken control over (I certainly had no control in the above situation!), but the real big thing is how we respond to those situations. Sometimes people treat us like shit, say things about us that is absolute shit, it’s like they are literally shitting on us. Sometimes we do things that are shit.
The reminder we need to have is
WE ARE NOT SHIT
but shit does happen.
If you can be a person who doesn’t even let it attach AWESOME, however if you are like me, sometimes I spend too much time going over and over in my own mind why did that happen to me, how could they have, what does it all mean.
It is better to change the way we THINK about the situation, because sometimes Shit does happen and the best thing we can do is change the way we think an
d move forward.
How do you do that you may ask? Choose to focus on something else, find something you are grateful for, something you appreciate, be thankful.
Even bigger, what is the positive that is coming out of this situation? Is it that you have found your self worth, freedom, self love, the power to be yourself? Whatever it is, focus there and be grateful!
For those of you with food intolerances or allergies, or those who have had gastro type situations, we all know that sometimes we have absolutely no control over what our body does in one moment.
I shared this story to make sure everyone not only got a laugh at my expense but to also remind YOU if you have had this experience that you are normal. Shit happens…..
Authentique 